davehayes.org

Why Mommy is a Democrat brings to life the core values of the Democratic party in ways that young children will easily understand and thoroughly enjoy. Using plain and non-judgemental language, along with warm and whimsical illustrations, this colorful 28-page paperback depicts the Democratic principles of fairness, tolerance, peace, and concern for the well-being of others. It’s a great way for parents to gently communicate their commitment to these principles and explain their support for the party.

Democrats make sure you’re always safe by taking away your means and rights to be able to protect yourself.

Everyone can afford to go to good colleges because 87% of the teachers there are liberals who make sure everyone gets a fair chance.

Democrats try to make everything fair by taking away what you’ve earned and giving it to people who are less fortunate because they’re too lazy to get a damn job.

Democrats tell you what you should do, think and say for your whole life, just like Mommy does. But what about those of us that actually grew up and no longer need Mommy to support us, protect us and tell us what to do? Notice there is no Daddy squirrel. He must’ve left Mommy for another Daddy squirrel he met. Or maybe Mommy squirrel and her life partner went to a sperm bank. Better yet, Daddy squirrel was probably killed and eaten by an evil, merciless hunter. Idiots.

Some commentary adapted and compiled from AR15.com.

Some people have told me they don’t think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen an angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100mph. They’d be a lot more careful about what they say if they had.

–Linus Torvalds

i talked to my friend justin last night and i thought to myself, “the world needs to know about justin bacher.” well here you go. he’s fun, and he’s on myspace too. tell him to come to nashville with jake next weekend.

some people just have to do everything to the eXTReMe!

who knew? check out the whole gallery here.